We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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