there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
