erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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