I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
