Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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