If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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