I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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