would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
