My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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