the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize