I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
