I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
