EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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