Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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