why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
