im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
