I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
