dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He passed out mid-signature
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
