Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think I am morally bankrupt
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wish i was in the wii world.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
