Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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