don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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