I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
