Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
