Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
