So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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