Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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