I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
