Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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