Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
