If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize