I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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