I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize