I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
