he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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