my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
