I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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