Porn is love you can see.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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