pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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