your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
