They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
