if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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