So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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