whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
