You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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