WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i came on her dog
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
