I just cut my nipple shaving
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
