Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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