whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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