i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
