i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
