i wish my penis had a tongue
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
