Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
