So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
