She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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