I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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