I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
