my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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