you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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