I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
