I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
