I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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