your room smells of hookers.
And success
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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