in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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