when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
