I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
