Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
