So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
