Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i think i have two assholes
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just invented taco cereal.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize