I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
