Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize