You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
